I sit up in my bed with the distinct impression that I
shouldn’t have been asleep. Why? I wake up in a room surrounded by unfamiliar
things. Where am I? I glance behind me at the wall to see several unfamiliar
faces smiling back at me. I run my finger over the smooth surface of a few
photographs, their laughing faces. Who are they? Who am I? I stand unsteadily
on the cold stone floor and walk towards the window, taking in the scenery- I’m
surrounded by buildings, I can see people going about their business down
below. I figure I’m on the fifth or sixth floor of a building. I stare at the
city scape before me and try and think. My head feels blank, devoid of any
thoughts. I seem to be unable to think back on anything. Everything here is
unfamiliar- from the view out the window to the smell of detergent on the
sheets so I feel uneasy. I catch a glimpse of myself in the window reflected by
the paling afternoon sun.

Long straight hair, brown eyes, pale skin. I turn
away. Who is that? My mind feels like the surface of a glacier, radiating cold
nothingness. I sit back down on the bed and analyse the things on the side
table. A wallet. I open it to see that same unfamiliar face staring back.
Alexis Wang. Age 27. Address-309 Herkimer St, Brooklyn, NY 11216. A credit card
with the same name. A worn copy of a book, a pair of studs. I cautiously make
my way towards the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. I run my hands
over my hair, my face, the tiny gold stud in my small nose. My hands creep down
to my neck where I wear a delicate silver chain with a tiny pendant on it. I
look down to see the tiny stone- maybe some kind of moonstone? It almost glows
with an eerie blueish light against my skin and feels cold to the touch despite
being on my body. I can see the bluish tint of my veins along my wrists and
neck. I’m about to turn away to head out and stop as I catch an odd flash of
opalescent light in my brown eyes. I lean closer, squinting but see nothing
now.

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I pull on a jacket, shivering a little and head out
feeling disoriented. All of my thoughts are quelled as my stomach desperately
gnaws for attention making pained noises. I head out of the bedroom to see a
neat but simple dining room and kitchenette, sparsely furnished and a door way
leading outside. I head towards the refrigerator, keeping my padding footsteps
soft and open it to see it largely bare, but I take a step back wrinkling my
nose as a foul smell emanates from the bottom shelf. I crouch down to see some
old, rotting meat and vegetables and gag. I poke around, and quickly clean it up
to the best of my abilities and manage to lose my appetite along the way.

I get up and head to the room again with intentions of
showering. I throw open the closet to see clothes in my size, exactly along the
lines of what I would normally wear. Normally wear?  I feel a fierce, stabbing pain in my head and
sit down and try to grasp at that memory. It was like playing a grabber arm
arcade game, you know the prize is right there but you just can’t manage to
grasp it correctly. I eventually give up and pick out a few clothes and get
into the shower.

I had to survey my body like I didn’t know myself. I
see an average girl, her collar bones standing out prominently, her ribs
pressing against her skin like skeletal hands clawing their way out. She had the
most delicate hands, long fingers, nimble almost and athletic legs like a gazelle.
Every movement she made had this lithe, quickness about it like a panther on
edge. I turned and noticed there was a small tattoo on the small of “my” back-
I couldn’t see it clearly but it looked sort of like an intricate lotus. I
stepped into the shower and ran my hand through my hair and leaned against the
shower wall, letting the hot water cascade down my back and breathed in the
steam. I lost track of time and was jolted back by the gradual lowering of the
water temperature and hopped out quickly and considered my options as I dried
myself down.

I felt the return of my appetite and decided to
prioritise that, needing something to keep myself occupied, and feeling sane.
It is dark outside now so I take my chances, feeling much more comfortable, and
head out of the house after finding a pair of keys and a phone. Who would I
even call? I give up after failing to put in the passcode and simply grab the
wallet and keys and walk out of the house. I walk down a long hallway and get
into the elevator along with an older woman. She nods in recognition and the
pit of my stomach twists. She knows me? I get out of the elevator smiling
uncomfortably and walk out into the cold evening.

I walk a few blocks before stopping at a small deli
and bask in the glow of the display and consider what I would want to eat.
Salmon? No definitely not. Roast beef? That sounds more up my alley… but what
is up my alley? I head outside and devour the meal feeling lightheaded from the
sudden rush of the calories as I stuffed the sandwich down my throat. Groceries,
I need groceries. I remembered the empty fridge. Definitely need groceries. I
find a store and walk in, again catching my reflection in the door and slow. My
eyes flash with an unnatural intensity and I back away heading in. I began to
pick up what I thought I would need and considered the implication of spending
“my” money. Was it mine to spend? Yes. It’s mine I quickly decide. Then why
don’t I know who the hell I am? I caught my eye again as I passed the frozen
food section and saw myself in the glass, that odd glow around my iris and
stared. Suddenly there was nothing.

She
walked with the grace of a falling feather, flitting smoothly along the pathway
in the dark. Non-descript clothes made her impossible to distinguish from every
other person taking an evening stroll in the park. Dressed in dark clothes, she
weaved in and out of the warm glow of the streetlamps. They seemed to catch the
shine of her hair and spread along her body, the yellow turning into an
iridescent white sheen catching the high points of her cheekbones, nose and
limbs. Her movements had an urgency that made other people clear a path for
her. She veered off the path gracefully, trekking with ease of a seasoned
hiker, quickly covering quite a large distance and coming to a stop and
blending into the shadows behind a tree.

It
would have been impossible to see her were it not for her oddly luminous eyes,
standing out like a spot light in the evenings haze. Her feline gaze followed
the silhouette of a man who was sitting on a bench near a small pond and she
smiled to herself. With lightning speed, her face transformed into a snarl and
she leapt an impossible distance, her legs rippling and landed gracefully atop
the man and slashed his throat with her nails. There was soft gurgling and then
nothing. She surveyed her victim, looking pleased and sunk down to her haunches
near the body and began to dig in. Gore and viscera covered her hands and face
as she ate with relish tearing his flesh into ribbons and cracking bones like
they were plastic. She looked around making sure no one was near and quietly
got up walking towards the pond. She kneeled and began to wash off her face and
as she bent, her t shirt lifted up ever so slightly and you could just see the
outline of a lotus tattoo.

“Ma’am- Ma’am excuse me are you alright? Dave! Dude!
Come here- this lady she’s uh I don’t know what the hell is wrong with her.
Shit. Ma’am?” I snap back to reality and grab the glass for support. “Oh umm
sorry. I didn’t mean to ermm….”- my voice sounds odd, like a crystal glass,
fragile and beautiful and I’m mildly surprised. “Ma’am are you alright do you
need to sit or something?” the boy asked looking me up and down. When I stared
back his cheeks coloured and he repeated the question. “I’m fine I just need to
pay for my things” I say hurrying over to the counter and exiting as quickly as
I could.

I found my way to the apartment under the glow of the
street lamps and fumbled with the keys and my bags. I let myself in and
collapsed on the couch not sure of what to do next. I didn’t feel sleepy or
tired so I put away the groceries and cleared up the house, looking through all
the things. I dusted every surface trying to evaluate why I was stress
cleaning, and I found myself on the floor hyperventilating. What are the things
I know for sure? I don’t know anything for sure right now and that lack of
control made me want to rip my hair out in frustration. I put my head between
my knees and tried to calm myself. Count down from 100 I said to myself. No
what’s the use of doing that when I don’t know who I am. I don’t know what I
am. Why did I blank out like that? Whose house is this. Whose things am I
wearing. Am I dead. Is this real. Is this a dream. Nothing answered me and my
echo was left hanging in the empty apartment. I felt a lump in my throat begin
to choke me and I let out a sob, immediately covering my mouth hoping no one
had heard. Who would hear? I was alone.

At the bottom of a kitchen drawer I found a small
notebook and took it out hoping to find something to ease my rising panic and
decided to read it. I sat, flipping through the pages, the majority of which
consisted of a hand drawn calendar dated to about three years ago. The days
were crossed out harshly as time went by and there were marks from several
types of pens and pencils as if done in a hurry. The days counted down to 27th
May 2018 and that day was circled vigorously as if something important was to
happen on that day. At the back of the book there were some words written in a
foreign script I found that I could read. “Hunger”, “will”, “hope” and “human” were
just a few words I could recognize. I put the book down confused. At the back
of the book there were names- names I couldn’t recognize of various people and
a date next to them. There were about 20 scribbled down, but I couldn’t make
sense of them especially since I couldn’t unlock the phone to check who they
were. I just lay down on the floor right there, exhausted all of a sudden and
tried to fall asleep drifting in and out, focusing on the weight on my limbs.
My lids became heavy and I let go.

“You
shouldn’t be here”. She ignored his warning, pushing past him, her robe
trailing behind, leaving her scent lingering in her wake. “This is sacred
ground! People…I mean creatures like you aren’t allowed in here!” He followed
her uselessly trying to block her way. She took long strides leaving the man
running to catch up. “Guards!” he screamed breathlessly and suddenly she found
that the intricate wooden doorway was blocked by two men in armour wielding shields
and spears. She turned to the man and snarled quietly, her sharp canines coming
to view- “You dare block my way?” she questioned, her voice like the tinkling
of broken glass. The man looked nervous retreating behind the guards, “I have
been told that he no longer wishes to see you. He knows what you’ve done.” he
said with a tone of finality. “Fine. I will not stay here any longer if that is
his wish, but I warn you, should anyone follow me or track me to steal what is
mine, retribution will be swift. I will hunt them all down one by one and it seems
that I have an endless appetite these days”. The man gulped and made no move
towards her and she walked out of the gates without turning back.

I woke up disoriented with a stiff neck and the taste
of rotting flesh in my mouth. I got up quickly to brush my teeth and drink some
water.